Islam's Impact on Men

A Closer Look at Gender Norms

While much attention is given to how Islam negatively affects women, it's important to also recognize the ways it impacts men. In this post, I want to discuss how certain aspects of Islamic teachings not only damage women’s autonomy but can also harm men’s understanding of sexuality, relationships, and their own identity.

1. The Hijab and the 'Forbidden Fruit' Effect

Sexual attraction is a complex mixture of physical and psychological factors. Often, anticipation and imagination drive desire more than simple physical exposure. This is why things like lingerie or role-playing can heighten arousal, as they create an element of mystery and intrigue.

The hijab, while seemingly about modesty, creates a similar psychological dynamic but in a more pervasive way. By covering a woman’s body entirely, it intensifies the mystery and scarcity surrounding her. Men are taught to view women as inherently sexual beings whose bodies need to be concealed, thus reinforcing the idea that women’s presence is constantly sexualized. The hijab, rather than reducing sexualization, exacerbates it by making women an object of heightened desire rather than an autonomous person.

Additionally, the analogy that compares women to lollipops and men to flies is disturbing because it not only objectifies women, but it infantilizes and dehumanizes men as well. Men are reduced to mindless creatures controlled by base impulses, incapable of autonomy or responsibility for their actions. This not only denies men their agency but also perpetuates harmful stereotypes about male sexuality.

The hijab system reinforces a distorted understanding of gender relations and sexualization. Rather than protecting women, it perpetuates the idea that women are sexual objects to be veiled and hidden away.

2. 'Lower Your Gaze' and Gender Segregation

Islamic teachings often command men to "lower your gaze," avoid contact with women, and enforce strict gender segregation. These rules are meant to prevent "Zina" (fornication), but in reality, they often do the opposite.

By limiting men’s interaction with women, these teachings stunt their emotional growth and social development. Men are deprived of the chance to understand women as individuals, leading to relationships that are often based on projection and misunderstanding.

The rules create a climate of fear and anxiety about interacting with women. Young men are taught to view women as objects of desire, shrouded in mystery and forbidden to engage with on any meaningful level. This dynamic often leads to unhealthy and unrealistic expectations about relationships. Instead of learning how to engage with women in a respectful, genuine manner, men are taught to suppress their natural social instincts. This creates barriers to forming healthy, empathetic, and intimate relationships.

Conclusion: Patriarchy Hurts Both Men and Women

Patriarchy, in any form, is damaging not just to women but to men as well. When gender roles are enforced to rigidly, they harm both sexes. In Islam, the emphasis on controlling women’s sexuality by creating artificial barriers between men and women strips men of their ability to form real, meaningful relationships and undermines their emotional growth. Men, much like women, suffer from these oppressive norms and are left struggling to find their own identity in a system that reduces them to either sexual predators or passive bystanders.

I believe we need to have a broader conversation about the negative impact of patriarchal structures, both on women and men, and how we can challenge them to create healthier relationships and a more balanced understanding of gender dynamics.